Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Something without numbers

Girlclumsy had a little rant today on Twitter about News Ltd (evil TM.) and Fairfax both running fairly tabloid headlines regarding women on their websites. The News one dealt with the rise of the "bigger" model and whether this was actually an unhealthy role model as well, the gist of it being "see, she's big I don't need to exercise I can sit on the couch and eat another pie." It lead to a bit of a chat about BMI ( body mass index) and whether it's a useful measurement for what's healthy, compared to using the dress size method of healthiness.

It also allowed me to complain that exercising six days a week and a ten month absitence from hungry jacks ( I gave up on all the other chain takeaways a decade ago, but couldn't kick the HJ habit) had not dropped a ounce of weight off my body. Sure I've changed shape but no weight loss. The Wife looks at me with the moral superiority of a doctorate and tells me that it's my diet. To which I reply, bullshit. You see The Wife is a child of science, tempered in the long, long fire of university and thus she places faith in that witchcraft they call dietetics. I however take a different veiwing of science and in particular the way dieticians peddle their beliefs. (if you ever meet my wife, aak her about the patented apple test for randomization of a sample into two groups.)

Take tonights dinner. Pasta with pesto, feta and mushrooms. If you bought all that from the shop it would differ wildly from the meal we had tonight. Why? Because my meal had no numbers. I made the pasta. I made the pesto. The ingredients were all whole foods with no preservatives or emulsifers or stabilizers. People have been eating whole foods for years but most of the chemicals that replace fat or sugar or increase shelf life have been around a very short time and we really don't know what they'll do to our health in the long term. Yet a dietician would veiw my pasta no differently to a pasta and pesto frozen lean cuisine.


Another mate of mine reckons I'm not getting enough numbers. He's currently living off fitness supplements and is dropping weight like breadcrumbs in a fairytale with a wicked stepmother.

The Wife might have a small point on my diet though. My dad was passing through on the weekend and being Fathers Day I made him this in honour of his love of sweets. Lime and caramel tart. Only 100g of sugar, but 8 eggs and butter and cream and mmmmmmmmm.

Lantanaland from the iPhone


  1. It's not rocket science! It is a scale with calories out on one side and calories in on the other. The only way to lose weight is to tip the scale to the “calories out” side.

    Now give me a small but elegant portion of that tart!

  2. Man, that tart looks awesome. The Wah would knaw a blind man's arm off for that delicious-looking a tart. ;)

    It's a tough world - food and dieting - I guess perhaps... at the end of the day nothing can match moderation in all things?

  3. I must say I have fuck all idea as to WHY!, I have an ability to consume what I want, when i want and put on ZERO weight. BUT!. There was one instance where all of a sudden i did, during basic training, 6kgs in three weeks. OK, thats muscle and I do creep a fraction over summer, around 70kgs, to 71 kgs max. Winter weight is approx 68-69, with FA fluctuation. I put summer down to cricket and exercise.

    I guess I am ON THE MOVE, but I wouldn't say overly so. 40 year of age, 178 cm. so, ...who fkn knows what the answer, i'm sure as shit not the right person to ask..lol

  4. I hate you Havock, I just want you to know that. ;)

  5. Seriously - I weigh more than you, and we're the same height, you bastard.

    I'm just going to take a deep breath and assume it's the extra weight of special girly parts that you lack.


  6. It's also the extra weight of special male parts that he also lacks...

    (*cough* 182cm and 91kg, and that's AFTER the swine flu)

    Your body has a weight that it wants to be at, and will return to like a homing pigeon. It's almost always five kilos more than what you think your body wants to be at. Which would you rather have, the five kilos or the ability to knock over a couple of beers or eat fricken delicious food?

    Thought as much. Those gaps at footy can stay closed.

  7. No goddamn it I will not give in. Two week self imposed beer ban kicks in right now. Hang in going to lunch Sunday, free meat awards dinner following sat. Hmmmm
    I was 70kg unmovably from 16 to 26. Running the pubs I got to 80kg with the worst diet I have ever had. Sit in a car for 10 hours and hello 90kg.

  8. Gotta agree with The Wife, it is simple maths at the end of the day.

    That's why I tend to focus on the aerobic, heart rate controlled, endurance training. Won't help with your touch, but it will punch up your daily calorie burn.

    Having meet Havock a few times, I am not surprised he as a super fast metabolism.

  9. It's age, mate. Wouldn't matter what you were doing for a job. Track that weight against age and there's your story.

  10. The thing is that Hav burns gazillions of calories each day whilst FKN CAPPING FKN MUPPETS FKN !!!!!